In celebration of Zoolander 2 hitting the big screen, we've got a little nostalgic...

If we could spend the day with Derek Zoolander we have a feeling our life would be complete.

[Gif] Zoolander Blue Steel

Why? As well as being ridiculously good looking, if you think about it, this is a man with a phenomenal capacity for the English language.

In fact, Aristotle and Plato better move over because we think Derek’s philosophies on life, the world, religion and fashion could be the answer to most of our every day 2016 problems.

How?

Well, read on…

1.When an estate agent shows you round a shoebox excuse of a house and wants to charge you £500 per week for it…

Your response: ‘What is this? A CENTRE FOR ANTS?’

[GIF] Zoolander

 

2. When you’re at a job interview and they ask you what your career aspirations are…

Your response: ‘I’m pretty sure there’s a lot more to life than being really, really, ridiculously good looking. And I plan on finding out what that is.’

3. When you feel bad for being a bit TOO honest with your mates… 

Your response: ‘[You guys] are like brothers to me. And when I say brother, I don’t mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.’

4. When that bloke at the bar is beyond rude about your girlfriends…

Your response: ‘I’m sorry that good-looking people like us made you throw up and feel bad about yourself.’

5. When you go into Debenhams to buy a mascara and the assistant is trying to make you buy a £50 moisturiser too…

Your response:  ‘Moisture is the essence of wetness, and wetness is the essence of beauty.’ [GIF] Zoolander, Merman

6. When your mum is in a grump because she says she hasn’t seen you for a week…

Your response: ‘A week? What, are you having a whack attack? I saw you this afternoon, dum-dum.’

7. When you’re seeing two guys at once and the not-so-hot one asks what you did over the weekend…  

Your response: ‘ I was at a day spa. Day, D-A-I-Y-E. Okay?

8. When you know your work appraisal is going to go badly…

Your response: ‘Are you here to tell me what a bad eugoogoolizer I am?’

9. When you DO NOT want to share your Maltesers…

Your response: ‘I can Dere-lick my own balls, thank you very much.’

[GIF] Zoolander, Derlick my balls

10. When you don’t want to give oral sex…

Your excuse: ‘I think I’m getting the Black Lung. It’s not very well ventilated down there.’

WATCH THE ZOOLANDER 2 TRAILER 

11. When someone asks you why you never finish a meal…

Your response: ‘I caught my reflection in a spoon while I was eating my cereal, and I remember thinking ‘Wow, you’re ridiculously good looking.’

12. When someone asks you whether or not you know how to merge cells on Excel…

Your response: ‘Sorry. I’m not a gymnast.’

13. When someone disses you on Facebook… 

Your response: ‘You think that you’re too cool for school, but I have a newsflash for you Walter Cronkite… you aren’t.’

14. When you’re stuck talking to THAT office weirdo…

Your response: ‘Look, I gotta go pee, but I’d really like to continue talking about this conversation when I come back.’

SEE WHAT THE CAST OF THE GOONIES LOOK LIKE NOW 

15. When you’re fed up of that person who ALWAYS talks about themselves, ALWAYS… 

Your response: ‘Do you understand that the world does not revolve around you and your do whatever it takes, ruin as many people’s lives, so long as you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied along the way, just so long so you can make a name for yourself as an investigatory journalist, no matter how many friends you lose or people you leave dead and bloodied and dying along the way?’

16. When that new Zayn Malik song has be TOTALLY overplayed on the radio…

Your response: ‘Put a cork in it, Zane!’

[GIF] Zayn Malik One Direction Graham Norton

17. When someone offers you a cup of tea…

Your response: ‘You can read minds!’

Oh Derek Zoolander – how we love you!

Lydia Southern/ @lydiasouthern