Please apply water on this burn

Helen Wood has ripped into the ‘boring’ Geordie Shore stars – especially Charlotte Crosby – for their rude behaviour on the screen, while defending former Miss Great Britain Zara Holland.

The model was stripped of her Miss Great Britain title after having sex with fellow contestant Alex Bowen on Love Island, which outraged many fans including Helen, who thinks the decision to strip her of the title is ‘stupid’ and outdated.

But that doesn’t stop the Big Brother star from ripping into professional drunk people Geordie Shore. Writing in her column for the Daily Star, she said: ‘Sex on TV… not a fan.

‘I’ve never understood why the Geordie Shore skets are put on pedestals when all they seem to do is get ‘mortal’ (cringe), then forever get their back doors smashed in.’

GIF geordie shore

Awkward.

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She adds that sex is the most ‘natural deed in existence’ and, while people shouldn’t shag publicly, it shouldn’t cause this much fuss.

‘But I find the Geordie lasses disgusting, it’s like they have Jack all to offer besides a fanny. I’ll even back that twonk Gaz Beadle in saying they’re “boring without vodka” – they ain’t much to look at either, so getting sloshed and riding d*** is all they’ve got.’

The former escort also has a particular problem with Charlotte Crosby’s rise to fame: ‘I don’t think it’s fair we banish a girl for making one silly mistake when our teens are reading books from the likes of that slug-head Charlotte Crosby, who’s been banged more times than a taxi door on TV.

MORE: ‘I hope people stop!’ Charlotte Crosby tells fans to STOP watching Geordie Shore

‘Not to mention peeing herself on purpose for the cameras, just to get her pay cheque.’

Yikes. Even a fellow Big Brother winner is not free from Helen Wood’s wrath. Now that she’s left Geordie Shore, she might be a bit more favourable to Helen.

WATCH: Errr, we had a good time with Geordie Shore when we went on a bar crawl with them…

@TomCapon