Vicky Pattinson reveals she's set for a sexless summer as she sheds the weight she's put on ­ and reaches out to other celebs about their 'dangerous' diets

Some people thought quitting Geordie Shore would be the worst decision of 27-year-old Vicky Pattison‘s life ­ but it’s proved to be the best. ‘I’ve got my fingers in so many pies,’ Vicky tells us, as she prepares to release her debut novel All That Glitters. ‘I’ll be the first millionaire from the show.’

Aside from literature and reality TV, Vicky’s also topped the charts with her fitness DVD. And now she’s speaking out about the stars she fears are on the verge of making themselves ill for quick results and her concerns for Cheryl Fernandez-Versini

What’s your book about, Vicky?

A female protagonist in her twenties called Issy Jones, who joins a reality show. She’s feisty, fun and has long dark hair. It’s funny and there’s swearing and sex in it. It’s basically Geordie Shore if Geordie Shore had a book.

It’s about you then?

No! See, that’s where I’ve got you all fooled ­ Issy’s from Manchester! There are loosely autobiographical moments in it, I’m not going to lie. There’ve been times when certain celebrities have chatted me up that have been particularly unsavoury and I couldn’t get away with putting them in my autobiography for legal reasons, so they’re in this.

Can you tell us who?

Just other reality TV stars I’ve met along the way who’ve tried to put a shift in and been quite rude. I just want people to read it and be like: ‘Ah, I bet that’s so and so!’

Ooh! So do you reckon there’ll be a few scared celebrities when this comes out?

I’ve been quite sneaky about it and changed their names, but I reckon their girlfriends will know it’s them. It’s all very thinly veiled.

You mentioned there are sex scenes in it, too…

Well, I don’t get much sex or have much experience, so poor Issy’s ended up like a nun. It’s tasteful sex, though ­ don’t be expecting some Fifty Shades Of Grey stuff. If you want something like that, go and watch some porn or have sex ­ then read my book afterwards and relax!

Sounds like you’re having a bit of a celibate summer so far…

I’m too busy for sex. I want to get away before the end of summer ­ but knowing me, when I do I’ll end up getting too drunk and then no one will want to do it with me. So yeah, still no bloody sex for me. I’d settle for a ‘tash on’ at this rate…

Do you get stressed when you don’t exercise?

Yeah. I think when you get up first thing in the morning and go to the gym it puts you in the right mindset for the day and everything else just falls into place. For me, eating healthily and training go hand in hand. I wouldn’t mind losing half a stone. I really want to feel confident on the beach this summer.

What do you think of celebrities who try fad diets?

People like Khloé Kardashian and Miley Cyrus are going to make themselves ill. They shouldn’t go to extremes. Quick fixes don’t work. The only thing that really works is training, eating right and taking your vitamins and minerals.

There’ve been some fears for Cheryl Fernandez-Versini lately ­ she’s looking very thin…

Cheryl usually looks amazing, but I think she’s gone a little bit too far. She looks gaunt and frail. I feel sorry for her ­ she needs to look after number one because who else is? That husband of hers Jean-Bernard should be her official sandwich-getter. She needs to just get herself on holiday,
get drunk and have a Burger King!

Vicky’s novel All That Glitters is out on 2 July (£7.99, Sphere)

Watch Vicky Pattison give you three of her best diet tips…

Vicky Pattison’s hilarious candid selfie

Joshua Fox