Annabelle Knight, Now's relationship expert shares her top 11 steps to help you get through a break up. And yes, you need to put down the chocolate, Perrie! Sorry
The aftermath of any breakup is always hard and if, like Perrie Edwards your relationship has come to an abrupt end then you’re probably feeling, a bit lost, quite hurt and very emotional.
We’re always available for hugs though, if you need ’em Pezza.
Here, Annabelle Knight, Now’s relationship expert shares her top 11 steps to help you get through a break up.
Step 1: Block, block, block!
‘A lot of people don’t do this for fear of appearing irrational or bitter when in reality it’s actually one of the best pieces of break up advice there is,’ Annabelle explains. ‘You do not need to see your ex checking into places, what they’ve had for dinner or that they’ve been on a night out. Having access to their social media offers the temptation to stalk, and with stalking comes the inability to move on.’
Step 2: Don’t bury your feeling in booze
‘If you have a particularly lonely evening, don’t reach for the vino! Being drunk and sad is one thing, but being drunk, sad and alone is quite another. Instead, ring some friends, go see your mum or just run a bath and pamper your fabulous self! Both you and your liver will thank me in the morning!’
Step 3: Don’t rebound immediately
‘Rebounds are perfectly fine if you’ve had a bit of time to heal but do it too soon and you’ll end up straddling a guy, crying your eyes out with snot streaming down your face wondering what it was you did wrong! This isn’t a good look for anyone, let alone someone trying to get a bit of confidence back by nailing that hot bloke your friend knows.’
Step 4: Allow yourself to cry.
‘So many women are hell bent on not appearing weak, even to themselves that they don’t grieve properly for their relationship and the healing time ends up taking twice as long. If you feel sad, hurt or angry embrace those emotions and if that leads to tears then so be it. Just make sure you have a packet of tissues handy for a while after your breakup.’
Step 5: Don’t lay plans to win him back, aim to get yourself back instead
‘Your partner did not define you, didn’t make you who you are and certainly has no baring on you now so make sure you keep your own happiness and wellbeing in focus. Do things that make you feel good, see people who make you feel loved and go places that evoke positive feelings.’
Step 6. Diarise
‘Writing your feelings and thoughts down on paper can be truly cathartic, if you feel like writing to your ex do it, write everything down, let your hand and heart do all the work here,’ Annabelle explains. ‘The trick with pen palling your ex is to never send the letters, it’s the act of writing them that’s the healer, not them being read. Remember to keep these to yourself though and keep it private, don’t advertise your feelings on social media.’
Step 7: Visit your hairdresser
‘New do, new you! OK, so it’s not that easy but having some TLC treatments will make you feel miles better, you’ll also look awesome too. A real win win situation!’
Step 8: Be prepared
‘On average it takes roughly half the amount of time you were together to get over someone. This doesn’t mean you’re going to be balling your eyes out every single day but, you might find that for a while after your split and for unexplained reasons, you feel inexplicably sad, miss your ex to the point of madness or find waves of resentment and anger still washing over you. This is all totally normal, embrace those feelings, breath then let them go.’
Step 9: Step away from the junk food!
‘Allow yourself to indulge at the beginning, you’ve just had your heart broken after all but break that habit quickly. Eat healthily and get off your bum and do some exercise. Eating well and moving more releases feel good chemicals that will kick the ass of your break up blues.’
Step 10: Take a break
‘This can range from a two week all inclusive to a 60 second mental break. Whatever your budget or inclination just make sure you get away and rest your mind as well as your body. Even if it’s escaping to a friends house for a couple of nights, in this case the age old saying ‘a change is as good as a rest’ really will do wonders.’
Step 11: Don’t blame yourself
‘Banish thoughts that put you in the blame in any way, shape or form. What happened no longer matters, the issue wasn’t you it was you as a couple. What matters after a break up is you. You getting back on track, you moving on with your life and you learning to be happy as an individual again.’
And lastly, you rock, so rememeber that!
Annabelle Knight @missbelleknight