Why on earth would Cressida Bonas agree to split from Prince Harry? We’re stumped.

Our most likely chance for a bonus bank holiday – a marriage between Prince Harry and his girlfriend Cressida Bonas – is over after news broke that the royal couple have split. Whaaaat! *puts hat back into storage box*

According to friends close to Haz, he and Cress have decided to amicably call it a day after dating for two years. This is so frustrating as all the signs seemed to point to the fact that Harry was all poised to pop the question. Rumours that Prince Harry pulled the plug on the relationship as Cress was ‘too needy’ have been slammed by friends. So maybe it was Cressida who called it quits with her royal prince? Here’s my own theories about why she may have run for the hills…

1. After seeing Kate Middleton‘s conservative royal makeover’ for their official trip to Oz, Cress was probably looking longingly at those denim dungarees in her wardrobe wondering if they were about to be send to the Tower.

2. After Prince William‘s hair decided to make a run for it, she must have had a terrifying flash forward to Harry’s own thick mane thinning away to reveal a shiny bald spot. Gaaargh!

3. Cressida was quickly discovering that one’ does not pursue a job as a dancer when one’ is planning to become a member of the royal family. Just ask Kate who has perfected her I’m really interested in this military display. No seriously’ face.

4. With all the speculation over when Kate Middleton and Prince William will be popping out another heir, the thought of the whole country imagining you doing it’ with your other half must be pretty daunting *shudder*

5. Maybe she had a phobia of corgis. And furry hats. And crowns.

 

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