EXCLUSIVE Katie Hopkins on why the Queen is 'a grandma with attitude'

Katie Hopkins celebrates the Queen’s 89th birthday by paying tribute to a woman who, she says, even she couldn’t shock…

‘The funny thing about the Queen is – just like any mum – it feels better when you know she is there.

It doesn’t matter if something goes horribly wrong – it will all be OK because the Queen is still around.

And she’s been around a while. Today she officially turns 89 years old (her actual birthday was in April).

I don’t imagine for one moment I will make it to my eighties. My life is a bit too fast and my brain a bit too wonky to survive that long.

But the Queen is not pottering about in her greenhouse, having a snooze with her corgis. She is working it – like a grandma with attitude.

One day she’s in a pastel frock coat topped off with a pill box hat, the next launching a new ship in hot cerise and heels to match. The woman is unstoppable and she doesn’t show any signs of giving up yet.

And who can blame her? Prince Charles seems a poor relative by comparison. She has calm and inner strength. She also has that rarest of gifts – the ability to keep her mouth shut when she feels like shouting with rage.

But Charles just can’t help himself. The man has an opinion about everything and is determined you are going to hear about it whether you like it or not. Sound like anyone we know? (Raises left eyebrow..)

Queen Elizabeth has lived through times most of us have never seen. Moving out of London during the Blitz she was home schooled with her sister Margaret at Windsor Castle.

We will park my issues with home-schooled kids. I always find them to be a bit weird. Most home school kids think going to the hair dressers is an invasion of their personal space.

Given the life of excess associated with the Royal Family in their heyday (think Princess Diana‘s big fat gypsy wedding dress) the Queen has lived a frugal life. She even used war-time ration coupons to buy the material to make her wedding dress when she married Prince Phillip.

In many ways, the Queen is an uber-feminist. Unlike most irritating feminists determined to ram it down your throat (Caitlin Moran), the Queen has subtly changed years of tradition to ensure equality now reigns supreme. Now the oldest child can succeed to the throne – whether they are a girl or a boy.

Just like any mum, she has had good years and bad years. Her bad year was truly horrid; a fire burned down her beloved Windsor Castle, and the marriages of Prince Charles, Andrew and Princess Anne broke down. That’s a lot of marital tension in one family.

But her good years have been more memorable. Even if you are not an avid fan of the Royals riding high on the success of the Olympic Games, celebrating her Diamond Jubilee, the Queen seemed more loved than ever before.

Daniel Craig may not be the best looking Bond of all time, but he is the Bond we will all remember for making the Queen the hero of the games.

She may be our Queen, but she seems like the sort of mum you want to have around. Always supportive and blessed with the wisdom of years.

I don’t think even I could shock her. You can guarantee she has seen it all before.

We wish her a very happy birthday.’