We've seen the most hotly-anticipated film ever in all its glory - here's our verdict

It’s the film we’ve ALL been talking about. Yep, the one based on that well-thumbed book by the bedside about seduction, sex, a Red Room of Pain, sex, inner Goddesses, and, yes, SEX. Now the wait is over and we’ve FINALLY seen the most hotly-anticipated film ever it in all its (morning) glory.

We took our seats at the UK premiere of Fifty Shades of Grey in London’s Leicester Square and breathed in the same air as billionaire Christian Grey himself – man of the moment Jamie Dornan, who was sporting a very un-Christianlike beard. (We still would by the way…)

Jamie was joined on the Grey-carpet by co-star

Dakota Johnson

, who plays
Christian
‘s ultimate conquest virgin
Anastasia Steele
, author EL James, director Sam Taylor-Johnson and stars including
Denise Van Outen
,
Ashley Roberts
,
Nick Grimshaw
,
Hannah Tointon
and
Pixie Lott
.

And you’ll be relieved to hear the film was every inch as amazing as we’d hoped. So let’s get down to business: Jamie looks so incredibly hot on the big screen, we kept needing to remind ourselves to breathe… (We heard when he got the role Jamie worked out for three hours and drank five protein shakes every day – including one at 4am – and let’s just say that all that ahem, hard, work paid off.)

But there is bad news: if you’ve got visions of clapping eyes on Little Jamie, you’ll be disappointed. Jamie had a strict no-todger policy. The prude. But, lingering shots of his perfect Grecian-statue bottom more than make up for the lack of ‘length’, to quote EL James.

Then there’s the six pack and, our particular favourite: the rolling muscles on his back. But it’s not his body that lingers long after the credits have rolled. It’s the well-practiced Grey stare. And we can’t go without mentioning the moment the camera captures a topless Christian prowling towards the bed, as the audience looks on from Ana’s eyes. Actual goosebumps.

Jamie Dornan is perfectly cast as the brooding businessman with a ‘singular’ penchant for bondage. He’s steely when he needs to be; but can play the vulnerable card too.

Dakota Johnson nails Ana’s naivety. And all the women in the cinema let out a collective we’ve-so-been-there whoop when Christian began to undress her and, unprepared, she was wearing her daggy last-knickers-before-laundry and clearly hadn’t shaved her legs.  

The plot stays true to the book: Christian loves S&M but there’s no room for romance in his Red Room of Pain. However when he meets Ana, he quickly becomes captivated and can’t leave her alone. Throw in some handcuffs, blindfolds and whips and you’ve got a seriously sexy film with some genuinely funny parts. Okay, so it’s never going to win an Oscar and some of the lines are cheesier than Peter Andre at a fondue party. But, if you loved the book, you’ll love the film, too.

So, go on, whether you’re single or coupled up, get yourself in the mood for a saucy Valentine’s day sex-fest. You’ll be sooooo glad you came…

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