Stephen Baldwin starts preaching to the other housemates who are more interested in masturbation...

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Stephen Baldwin is a complete tool. That’s he politest way I can put it in his blog. I have nothing against people with faith. What I do have a problem with is people constantly preaching and pushing their religion on others even if they do do it with a smile on their face.

I could just about tolerate this, until he came out with the following gem. If a man with a gun came on a bus he was on with his wife and daughters and that madman pointed the gun at his daughter’s head and said: ‘Say God does not exist’ she would look to her dad, ask him what he thought and he would tell her to say what he had taught her.

She would then turn to the madman say: ‘Jesus does exist.’ Stephen would then apparently ‘see her in heaven’ after her brain was splattered over the bus. Nice.

So just to get this straight, he would put his faith before his daughter’s life. Heidi called him a Jesus toting freak. I couldn’t possibly comment.

If it’s not religion it’s farting or masturbation in the Big Brother house. Wonderful. Dame Stephanie Beacham is right when she pointed out that the tone was being lowered once again.

I do not need to know about their bowel movements in the same way I don’t need to know that Basshunter once masturbated 25 times in one day. What a w****r.

I seriously don’t think there is anything going on between him and the intensely dull Katia. For a start he’s not a rock star and secondly I think he probably has all his own teeth. This now clearly means by next week they’ll be making a secret den under the table to share some ‘special cuddles’.

So far apart from Stephanie, obvioulsy, I like Sisqo and Vinnie Jones and I’m still holding out hope on Lady Sovereign [although it’s looking like a Mutya situation so far]. Mr Jones does need to stop being so fed up. Then again, if I had to live with Alex Reid I might be feeling the same.

In last night’s episode, as Stephen gently stroked his ego, Alex admitted he’s thought about landing the part of James Bond. As before, I’ve thought about being a contestant on America’s Next Top Model. What do you think my chances are, eh? Actually don’t answer that and shatter my dreams.