Urgent assistance required: (a) Can anyone tell me what's going on in Prison Break? and more importantly (b) where is Wentworth Miller's six-pack?
Back in the day Prison Break did what it said on the tin. It was your everyday tale of ordinary folk escaping from prison.
Structural engineer, part-time Zen master and full-time lustbucket Michael Schofield (Wentworth Miller), committed an armed robbery in order to be banged up with his meathead brother Lincoln Burrows (Dominic Purcell).
Using his unique braininess and the blueprints he’d had tattooed on his body, Michael busted Linc out of Death Row, where he was being held on a trumped up murder charge
Look, no one said it wasn’t far-fetched but at least we got to look at Wenty’s fine body at least once an episode.
A motley crew of inmates muscled into this plan. Some good and some very, very bad indeed. It was exciting. It had thrills and spills. More importantly I knew what was going on.
These days I feel like my mother, whose level of TV criticism is: ‘Who’s he?’, ‘I thought she was dead’ and ‘Can you turn it up?’
Even worse, something dreadful has happened to Wentworth Miller. He’s put on weight. A lot of it; which entails him having to hide his once bodacious bod under a horrible navy blue cable knit sweater.
I reckon it’s reduced his dramatic abilities by about 86 per cent. Maybe 92.7 per cent.
So, after a hiatus, and a lot of Krispy Kremes, Michael is bang in the middle of Season 4 (Sky 1, Tuesdays) and I don’t think I’m doing any spoilers when I say that Season 5 is yet to be announced.
The fugitives are on the trail of a mysterious computer thingy called Scylla that could bring down the world’s economy.
It’s a wonder that Gordon Brown hasn’t blamed it for the credit crunch but I guess he doesn’t watch Sky 1. More fool him.
For reasons I’m not going to bother to explain, Michael and his girlfriend Sara (Sarah Wayne Callies) are pitched against Linc, renegade CIA agent Don Self (bad), renegade CIA agent Alex Mahone (good) and amputee Theodore ‘T-Bag’ Bagwell (Robert Knepper) who is, in fact, quite likeable, despite being a child sex killer.
I said you had to watch it.
Anyway. Back to the latest episode.
The Mother Lode, had Linc and Michael discovering that Christina, the mother they thought was long dead, was very much kicking and working for the mysterious Company who want Scylla back. Not only that: she’s a right bitch who kills people.
The cliffhanger had Linc’s head in the crosshairs of a sniper’s rifle with his mum giving the order to shoot.
I have to say Linc won’t be much loss to the Brains Trust. But it would make an awful mess.