The new series of The Only Way Is Essex is just perplexing me

I’ve felt like a bit of a creep while watching the newest series of TOWIE.

The show is like a rollercoaster – one minute I’m loving it, the next I’m covering my eyes in horror (and writing blogs like this one).

Gemma Collins lost her marbles way back in Marbs and is now on a massive rampage, invading Lucy Mecklenburgh‘s wedding dress party to accuse Mario Falcone of talking to Arg about something or other. Zzz.

It’s all getting a bit much to watch as Gemma unravels. Repeatedly. Every. Single. Episode.

Lucy has been trying on wedding dresses – and the producers haven’t even bothered with the Mario, no! You can’t see me in my dress before the wedding!’ thing.

Mario just hovered into the room and didn’t even feign averting his eyes. Casual.

The fact that neither Mario nor Lucy seemed to care about the age-old superstition makes me think: ‘is the wedding ACTUALLY real’ (dum dum duuuuuum)!

Anyway. Gemma invited flame-for-one-episode-last-series-Rami (who looks like someone the producers dragged off the street and offered £100 to stand there and look gormless) into Lucy and Mario‘s flat to have more of a go at Mario about something or other.

Gemma‘s always got beef with someone over Arg.

But the ultimate weird bit is the change in filming style. I can’t quite put my finger on it, but this series, things have got a bit less sparkly, and a bit more realistic.

The vajazzle-tastic sheen is gone – it’s all a bit grey.

The part that ultimately gave me the creeps was in last night’s episode, when Joey and Diags watched Arg and Gemma have a heart-to-heart, through binoculars.

I felt like a peeping Tom – and not in the usual, feel-good TOWIE way. It was just freaky.

Oh, wait – I forgot. The icing on the cake of weirdness: Kirk Norcross is back!

And in typical TOWIE-style, there’s no explanation at all for his disappearance from the past few series. Excellent.

I’m not moaning that Kirk’s back – god knows we need some eye candy, and Kirk is HOT – but why hasn’t anybody questioned where on earth he’s BEEN for the past few seasons?! 

Sort it out, producers!

 

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