And yes, it involves a topless Harry Styles

Sweetie, dahhhling, we simply can’t think of anyone more fantastic to feature in the new Absolutely Fabulous film than Harry Styles.

Rumours abound that the One Direction star is going to be in the film – abounding, indeed, like wild horses (really stylish ones that Edina and Patsy would ride on a ranch on Montana, with excellent outfits and Chanel cowboy boots).

‘Jennifer has told friends she wants Harry to be part of the movie. She’s got some great cameos in the bag already, but wants to give the film a young, hipster edge,’ an insider told The Sun last month.


And now Joanna Lumley herself her commented that she wants Haz in the movie (don’t we all, love?)

Joanna said: ‘I think Patsy would very much like to paired up with Harry Styles, who wouldn’t? He’s gorgeous, isn’t he?’

‘I’m not sure what’s going to happen in the film yet, because I haven’t seen the final script. All I know is that the first two weeks will be spent in the South of France, which is very Patsy, isn’t it?’


These are the five things that HAVE to happen if Harry stars in the film.

  1. Harry must pash with Patsy. He loves a cougar, after all.
  2. Harry MUST remove his shirt and show us that infamous third nipple: what would be the point of knocking about in the South of France round a swimming pool if there was no shirt-removal?
  3. Harry must go out on benders with Jennifer Saunders, Joanna Lumley and the rest of he Ab Fab film crew when not working – seeing as he’ll have be on hiatus from One Direction (sob) once filming starts.
  4. Said Ab Fab cast members could also include Victoria Beckham and Kate Moss, so we want lots of selfie action with them, too, please, Harry.
  5. Harry must speak. He’s always so SILENT. We want to hear that husky Worcestershire lilt, please.
  6. Network, Harry, network. We want to see you in more films – it’s been rumoured for ages that Harry wants a film career – and this could be it.

Watch Zayn Malik’s changing face


 Rosie Gizauskas