The former popstar has opened up about her scary binges
Kerry Katona has always been open about her battle with drug addiction, but now the mum-of-five has revealed the true extent of her dangerous binges.
Marking World Suicide Prevention Day on 10 September, the 38-year-old revealed that during her turbulent marriage to Mark Croft, things got so bad that she thought about ending her life.
‘I felt really suicidal when I was married to my second husband, Mark’, she said.
‘I was snorting cocaine like it was going out of fashion. I felt so isolated. I didn’t want to be here anymore. I almost gave in.’
Opening up about spiralling out of control, the telly star continued to The Sun: ‘I took so much coke with Mark and I had hoped he’d try to stop me, and go, “I love you too much to see you do this”, but he never did.
‘I would take so much that I’d have a fit and start frothing at the mouth and I really hoped I wouldn’t wake up. But I always did. I had a guardian angel, thank God!’
The former Atomic Kitten star added that when her £250,000 Iceland deal fell through – after she was caught taking drugs on camera – her mental health deteriorated further.
‘I was like “Oh my god I want to die”,’ she said.
‘I was being slated, being called a bad mum. I felt so isolated. I didn’t want to be here anymore. I almost gave in.’
Luckily, Kerry – who is mum to Molly, 15, Lily-Sue, 14, Heidi, ten, Max, nine and Dylan-Jorge, three – has since turned her life around by embarking on a healthy eating and fitness regime.
However, she admitted that her mental health issues started when she was just a child as her own mother was a drug addict and regularly attempted to take her own life.
‘I still suffer from depression from time to time,’ she added.
‘I have bipolar and there are times I’ll sit in the bathroom when I think I can’t do this anymore. But I am a different person now. I know what my triggers are and what my tools are.’
For support on any of the issues raised call the Samaritans on 116123 or visit www.samaritans.org for more details.