Dear Robin Thicke, stop. That’s all…
Right, let’s talk Robin Thicke.
We’re going to be sympathetic for three seconds before we become, well, a little bit mean. Or honest. Or mean. We don’t know. Monest?
It must be hard being Robin Thicke. He spent 37 years dreaming of being a huge pop star and despite having the biggest selling single of last year with Blurred Lines, the song catapulted him into downfall, rather than superstardom and adulation.
Ooohhh, we imagine wise types could turn it into a fable.
And now the song that he claimed to have written – the song which was described as ‘sexist’ and promoting ‘date rape’, and banned from university campuses across the country – now turns out wasn’t written by him at all. Yup, it was by that Pharrell Williams bloke.
So with that let’s kick off our top five of Robin’s biggest cringe disasters…
1. ‘I lied about writing Blurred Lines’
A bit of back story here: Robin and Pharrell are in an ongoing legal dispute with Marvin Gaye‘s children who believe the pair ripped off their father’s 1977 song Got To Give It Up. A leaked deposition reveals that Robin lied about writing the song, it was all Pharrell. Oh, and that he was high on drugs too.
‘I was high on vicodin and alcohol when I showed up at the studio,’ Robin says in the deposition. ‘So my recollection is when we made the song, I thought I wanted – I – I wanted to be more involved than I actually was by the time, nine months later, it became a huge hit and I wanted credit. So I started kind of convincing myself that I was a little more part of it than I was and I – because I didn’t want him – I wanted some credit for this big hit. But the reality is, is that Pharrell had the beat and he wrote almost every single part of the song.’
‘Ask Thicke,’ they said. ‘What could go wrong?’ they said. Oh, so much. So much.
Some choice tweets from the hashtag that was genius for all the wrong reasons include:
#AskThicke When you’re not busy objectifying women, making light of rape and justifying sexual violence, how do you like to relax?
#AskThicke If one of your songs played in a forest and no one was around to hear it would it still be sexist and gross?
#Askthicke when you ‘wrote’ Blurred Lines did you do a jump and say ‘wow! Men and those other objects are going to love this!’?
#AskThicke Did you really write a rape anthem as a love song for your wife and are you still wondering why she left you?
Oh how we love Twitter.
3. Paula’s great big flop
What do you do when your wife Paula finally leaves your sleazy arse? Write a whole album of love songs to win her back, duh. Except it didn’t win her back. In fact, chances are she never even heard it, cos only about five people bought it.
4. The Miley Cyrus twerk disaster
Not only was Robin Thicke part of one of the most disturbing MTV Awards moments ever when Miley Cyrus twerked her near-bare bum against his crotch, he then tried to deny any involvement. Hero…
‘I was walking out towards Miley, [and] I’m not thinking sex. I’m thinking fun, you know?’ he told Oprah. ‘I mean, her and I don’t have that kind of – and just remember, I’m singing my butt off. So I’m sitting there, I’m looking up at the sky, and I’m singing. I’m not really paying attention to all that. That’s on her.
‘People ask me, “Do you twerk?” I’m like, “Listen, I’m the twerkee. I’m twerked upon.”‘
5. Caught grabbing a fan’s bum
So yeah Robin Thicke is a total sleaze, and worse still he’s also bad at being a total sleaze. Surely any self-respecting super creep would know to check to make sure there wasn’t a mirror behind them when touching a fan’s bum in a picture. *shudders*