Former Big Brother star Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace speaks for the first time about her breakdown

When photos of Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace letting her hair down at a polo event in Essex were splashed across the newspapers recently, she looked as if she didn’t have a care in the world.

But the reality is shockingly different.

Last year, she stepped out of the limelight to nurse her dying uncle through his battle with cancer – only to learn during the ordeal that her estranged mum had died.

The news caused her descent into depression and an eventual breakdown.

‘You don’t know you’re having a breakdown until it’s too late,’ Aisleyne, 33, tells us.

‘There wasn’t a specific day when I just collapsed and decided to give up – but looking back, the signs were there.

‘The roller coaster of emotions got so bad that it became too much and descended like a dark cloud over me – until at one point, just over a month ago, I told a friend I wanted to die.

‘At the time, I really believed the world would be better off without me if I went to sleep and never woke up.

‘I had so many negative emotions in my head – anger, regret, guilt – and felt so sure I couldn’t ever be happy again because there was nothing left for me.

‘I felt empty.

‘Depression creeps up on you.’

Read more about Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace’s battle with depression in Now magazine dated 13 August 2012 – out now!

If you identify with the issues raised this feature visit for support.

VIDEO Brian Belo and Aisleyne Horgan-Wallace go skating>>