Jamie Jewitt's girlfriend has opened up on her mental health
But she’s now revealed her anxiety and depression got so bad she ‘considered killing herself’ and wondered what it would be like “not being alive” on more than one occasion.
Camilla even said that turning 30 earlier this year was a “low point”.
Speaking on the How to Fail podcast, Camilla said, “It’s difficult for the people around you of course, if you’re a people pleaser as soon as you start disappointing the people around you because you’re feeling like that then you’re trapped in that, is just a constant negative spiral.
“You start to entertain thoughts about what not being alive would be like, even if it’s just letting that cross your mind or whether it becomes a more serious thought pattern.
“But then there’s just this constant feeling of unease, just in general, and it starts to become unbearable to be inside my own head all the time and I get completely trapped in it, trapped in a really sort of negative spiral.”
Camilla’s fears come after fellow Love Islanders Sophie Gradon and Mike Thalassitis took their own lives earlier this year.
She continued, “It’s hard to talk about this necessarily, it’s not that the other option becomes any less terrifying but when life becomes unbearable like that you do start to think in a different way, it starts to change the way you look at everything.
“It’s when you can’t see a way out, there’s no light because you don’t think that there’s light at the end of the tunnel.”
While Camilla is happy in her relationship with Jamie, she confessed it’s still hard to get over the ‘self-loathing’ she experiences on a regular basis.
She said, ‘It’s like I can help other people but I can’t help myself.
‘To sit with myself and try and support myself when I’m feeling a bad moment I just descend into self-loathing.
‘I’d had it before so this year it was a reoccurrence and was managed a lot better.
‘But immediately before Love Island I was in a very, very difficult phase and I really struggled to see a way out of it.’