Comedian Joan Rivers has died at the age of 81. Thanks for the laughs, Joan!

Snarky American comedian Joan Rivers has died at the age of 81, her daughter announced tonight.

The acid-tongued star, who co-presented Fashion Police with Kelly Osbourne, was put into a medically-induced coma last Thursday after she had a heart attack during a routine throat operation.

While her condition appeared to be getting better at points, she never regained consciousness.

Her daughter, Melissa Rivers, said Joan passed away surrounded by family and close friends.

She said: ‘My mother’s greatest joy in life was to make people laugh. Although that is difficult to do right now, I know her final wish would be that we return to laughing soon.’

With that in mind, here’s a round up of the 10 best things Joan Rivers (and indeed anyone, anywhere) has ever said, complete with timeline of the plastic-surgery-loving star’s ever-changing face.

RIP, Joan.


1. I don’t exercise. If God wanted me to bend over, he’d put diamonds on the floor.’

2. I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery.’


3. My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.’

4. It’s so long since I’ve had sex I’ve forgotten who ties up who.’


5. I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.’

6. All babies look like Renee Zellweger pushed against a glass window.’


7. People say that money is not the key to happiness, but I always figured if you have enough money, you can have a key made.’

8. My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I’d scatter his ashes at [American department store] Neiman Marcus – that way, I’d visit him every day.’


9. Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favourite food is seconds.’

10. I don’t think I’m good in bed, my husband never said anything, but after we made love he’d take a piece of chalk and outline my body.’