After husband Kanye West is confirmed to play the world famous festival, we try to picture Kim Kardashian at Glastonbury
Kanye West has been confirmed as the lastest act to take to the Glastonbury stage and will headline the UK’s biggest festival on the Saturday night.
But while he’s appearance has caused some horror and outrage among fans we can’t help but feel for his poor wife, Kim Kardashian. How on earth is she going to cope visiting Worthy Farm? It’s going to be such an ordeal y’all…here’s 7 things we can think of that she’ll definitely hate. For starters…
1. The Portaloos
Does Kim even know what one of these is?? We seriously doubt it! And really, we hope she isn’t made aware of them either because there are portaloos, and then portaloos at Glastonbury. And the latter are a smelly alien breed all of their own…Kanye is bound to have a backstage custom made gold portaloo type throne to pee into, so best she does her business there.
2. The Tents
Ok, we know Kimye will end up in a VIP tipi – or a luxury Winnebago – or actually, more likely, miles off site at luxury hotel Babington House like Jay Z and Beyonce did… but still – someone will have to tell Kim what camping is. And her reaction is bound to be one of horror, followed by lots and lots of tears.
3. The Traffic Jams
Even jetting in on a helicopter as Kimye no doubt will won’t protect them fully from the clogged up traffic situ at Glasto. Kim may be used to driving on a busy LA highway but she ain’t seen nothing yet. More aptly, she ain’t seen hundreds and hundreds of cars, trucks, caravans and Winnebagos stuck in the mud.
4. The Wellies
A pre-requisite and total necessity when trudging round Glasto – even when the weather forecast promises nothing but sunshine, hardy festival goers know better than to forget to pack their Wellington Boots. But… we can’t see Kim donning a pair, can you?? Even if they are diamond encrusted Hunter ones.
5. The Mud
Having forsaken the wellies – see above – Kim will get stuck in the mud, fo’sure. She’s so regularly in five inch heels we think she probably sleeps in them. Her poor manicured tootsies will be shocked by being squashed into anything else.
6. The lack of t’Internet
Sometimes the Internet at the festival is sketchy, at best – mostly because there are a million people finding something better to do than be on social media, like watch one of the thousands of live acts on stage. But we reckon Kim might struggle with this one after all, how on earth will she post her endless selfies, and belfies?!
7. The music (apart from Kanye’s, obvs)
We can’t really picture Kim rocking out to US rock band the Foo Fighters, another big act confirmed to play the music fest. However, we reckon she’ll totally rock out to Kanye – picture Taylor Swift at the Brits and times that hair flicking effort by about a million.