Montana Brown has opened up on a host of sad losses that she has experienced in her life.

montana brown discusses devastating losses world mental health day

Credit: Getty

In honour of yesterday’s World Mental Health Day the former Love Island star took to Instagram to talk about the people who she has sadly lost throughout her life, including fellow Love Island star Mike Thalassitis, who tragically committed suicide earlier this year.

Alongside a heartbreaking snap of her crying at Mike’s funeral, the reality star wrote, ‘It’s International Mental Health Day and tbh a lot of you probably don’t know this, but I’ve had a lot of loss in my life in a short amount of time. My lovely auntie Rachel, my beautiful uncle Christopher, my grandparents, my amazing friend Harry and obviously Mr Mike Thala.

‘Now this has definitely sculpted the person that I am,’ she continued, ‘and I have tried to make each terrible experience somehow make me into a better person.

View this post on Instagram

It’s International Mental Health Day and tbh a lot of you probably don’t know this, but I’ve had a lot of loss in my life in a short amount of time. My lovely auntie Rachel, my beautiful uncle Christopher, my grandparents, my amazing friend Harry and obviously Mr Mike Thala. Now this has definitely sculpted the person that I am, and I have tried to make each terrible experience somehow make me into a better person. Now this first picture, I genuinely felt like I had a broken heart, I just couldn’t believe it and I realised that it had only hit me that morning what had happened. I wanted the world to swallow me up and tbh it made me question everything in my life as I just thought life isn’t fair and I blamed myself for what happened. I felt riddled with guilt and despair I just wanted it to be a dream. I stood up to read my eulogy and my heart was palpitating, couldn’t get my words out as I just didn’t understand how people could be so sad enough to take their own life. But then I thought what can I do to prevent other people doing this…and I realised that mental illness isn’t a choice, it’s part of you and it’s really not something people have control of. I genuinely believe Mike wanted a way out, he wanted to help himself he just didn’t know how to because not enough people talk about it. The second picture is me yesterday evening feeling over the moon to be helping people who have been in Mikes situation, where they feel like a burden on their friends and family. Our lovely panellist spoke about their own experience with mental health and also what we can do to help. I felt so truly blessed yesterday to be surrounding by such beautiful souls. So what I’m saying is… speak out! because although I don’t know much about depression or suicidal thoughts, what I do know is how much I love all my friends and family and whoever is reading this your friends and family feel the same and would do anything to protect you and save you. So check in on people, ask them how they are and really want to know the answer. There are a lot of people suffering and if we can prevent people from feeling so ashamed to speak out, we can save some lives 💕❣️

A post shared by M O N T A N A B R O W N (@montanarosebrown1) on

‘Now this first picture, I genuinely felt like I had a broken heart, I just couldn’t believe it and I realised that it had only hit me that morning what had happened.

‘I wanted the world to swallow me up and tbh it made me question everything in my life as I just thought life isn’t fair and I blamed myself for what happened. I felt riddled with guilt and despair I just wanted it to be a dream. I stood up to read my eulogy and my heart was palpitating, couldn’t get my words out as I just didn’t understand how people could be so sad enough to take their own life.

‘But then I thought what can I do to prevent other people doing this,’ Montana carried on, ‘and I realised that mental illness isn’t a choice, it’s part of you and it’s really not something people have control of. I genuinely believe Mike wanted a way out, he wanted to help himself he just didn’t know how to because not enough people talk about it.

View this post on Instagram

I’ve thought long and hard about what I want to say, I’ve woken up and unfortunately this wasn’t just a nightmare so this is to you Mr Thala. Firstly, I’m so angry at you for doing this because you are so loved by so many people and I just wish you picked up the phone so we could’ve sorted this out. This didn’t need to happen😭. Secondly, it annoys me that you were so misunderstood. “Muggy Mike” was your stage name and let’s face it, the ladies did fall at your feet BUT everyone had this impression of you and you were literally the opposite you were one of a kind. Mike, you were so thoughtful, caring and loyal to me and all your friends, you know some of my darkest secrets and I know yours. I could always rely on you to tell me when I’m being a nut job to Elliott and tell me to get off his case 😂 and I always told you to stop partying too much and getting too pissed😂🙈 I just wish people had a tiny glimpse of what the real you was like. You sent me a Christmas card in the post this year, you checked up on me everyday at the beginning of this year when I was struggling myself, you really were the kindest, sweetest person and I am so devastated and crushed that I’ll never get to see you again. Now I know you were in a dark place a few months back and I thought you were past it and that you were on the up. I got you to buy The Magic, you wrote down your gratitudes, you had the pictures of your family in your car to remind you to be grateful for them. I just don’t know how I didn’t notice… I am absolutely heart broken that I couldn’t help you. Your phone call a few days ago to tell me that I’m smashing the swimwear, you’re proud of me and that you’re grateful for my friendship is the only thing that’s keeping me going right now. At least you knew how much you meant to me. I will help open your cafe with Scott because you worked so hard on it so don’t you worry! I can’t imagine how much pain you must have been in to do this, and the fact that you went through this on your own breaks my heart. I’m so so sorry I couldn’t do more to help you. I have so much love for you Mike and I will never forget you. Sleep tight darling and I miss you so much already 💙

A post shared by M O N T A N A B R O W N (@montanarosebrown1) on

‘The second picture is me yesterday evening feeling over the moon to be helping people who have been in Mikes situation, where they feel like a burden on their friends and family.

‘Our lovely panellist spoke about their own experience with mental health and also what we can do to help. I felt so truly blessed yesterday to be surrounding by such beautiful souls.

She then went on to urge people to join the discussion about mental health, writing, ‘So what I’m saying is… speak out! because although I don’t know much about depression or suicidal thoughts, what I do know is how much I love all my friends and family and whoever is reading this your friends and family feel the same and would do anything to protect you and save you.

MORE: Love Island’s Montana Brown shares heart breaking poem about friend Mike Thalassitis’ tragic suicide

‘So check in on people, ask them how they are and really want to know the answer.

‘There are a lot of people suffering and if we can prevent people from feeling so ashamed to speak out, we can save some lives 💕❣️’.