TOWIE star Jess Wright enjoyed a holiday in Miami over the festive period - but confessed in a heartbreaking Instagram post that the death of her beloved Nanny Pat left her questioning whether she should go

We imagine it was a tough Christmas for Jess Wright after her beloved Nanny Pat passed away little over a week before the big day.

And now the TOWIE star has spoken of her grief at losing ‘the one person in her life who was happy no matter what’, calling it ‘the most testing time of my life.’

‘Grief is something I’ve never really experienced which I’m grateful for but the last few weeks has been the most testing time of my entire life,’ she shared in an Instagram post.

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‘There is nothing anyone can say or do to take the pain away. However, my Nan was the one person in my life who was happy no matter what the situation was, what day it was, and however she really felt deep down.’

The brunette beauty enjoyed a holiday in Miami over the festive period, but confessed that she was in two minds about whether to go after Nanny Pat’s death just three weeks ago.

Writing alongside a snap of herself in a bikini alongside TOWIE co-star Danielle Armstrong, Jessica wrote: ‘I booked this trip over a month ago & never in a million years expected what was going to happen.

‘I tore between decision over whether to go but I know my Nan would have wanted me to smile and celebrate her existence rather than stay home & mourn every day.’

She also and revealed how her memories of Nanny Pat have given her the to laugh again.

‘Moments are hard & moments are so bad that I feel like I’ll never be able to smile again. ‘But then when I think of her happiness & love of life I find strength again to laugh,’ Jess wrote.

Grief is something I've never really experienced which I'm grateful for but the last few weeks has been the most testing time of my entire life. There is nothing anyone can say or do to take the pain away. However, my Nan was the one person in my life who was happy no matter what the situation was, what day it was, and however she really felt deep down. I booked this trip over a month ago & never in a million years expected what was going to happen. I tore between decision over whether to go but I know my Nan would have wanted me to smile and celebrate her existence rather than stay home & mourn every day. Moments are hard & moments are so bad that I feel like I'll never be able to smile again. But then when I think of her happiness & love of life I find strength again to laugh. The bond between a grandchild and their grandparent is unexplainable & something so special but I feel most for my mum & her siblings because their pain is something I can't relate to & im so proud of my mum for being so strong at this hard time. I'm so sorry for anyone who has lost someone they care & love so much but please try and celebrate their lives how they would want you to. Thank you Danielle for supporting me & being the amazing friend you always are 💗 family is everything

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She added: ‘The bond between a grandchild and their grandparent is unexplainable & something so special but I feel most for my mum & her siblings because their pain is something I can’t relate to & im so proud of my mum for being so strong at this hard time.

‘I’m so sorry for anyone who has lost someone they care & love so much but please try and celebrate their lives how they would want you to. 💗 family is everything.’

Jess’s Insta followers quickly wrote messages of support following her emotional post.

One wrote: ‘Amazing words for an amazing lady. Jess u made me cry xx’

Another added, ‘My thoughts are with you and your family! I’m sure your nan is looking down on you and smiling xxxxxxx’, whilst another urged: ‘Stay strong Jessica.’

TOWIE favourite Nanny Pat passed away in December at the age of 80.

The much-loved star, who appeared alongside her fellow members of the Wright family in the hit show, died after a short illness.

In a statement, the family said: ‘Sadly our amazing, courageous and beautiful Nanny Pat passed away this morning after a short illness.

‘We are overwhelmed by sadness, and the whole family ask for privacy at this horrible time.’