Hollyoaks star felt like a failure

Former Hollyoaks star Terri Dwyer has spoken of the ‘horrendous’ time she went through following the birth of her son Caiden in March last year.

Being a new mum left her exhausted, depressed and constantly in tears.

‘I was stunned by the changes motherhood brought,’ admits the 34-year-old star.

‘I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t loving it like every other mum seemed to.

‘People say it’s amazing, which I’m sure it is for some women, but for others it’s not.’

The actress’s self esteem plummeted as she coped with round-the-clock feeding and nappy-changing.

‘Sleep deprivation is a form of torture,’ she explains. ‘I was so run-down, my hair started falling out, and I was seeing black dots in front of my eyes.’

Terri – who married husband Sean Marley in 2004 – says things started to improve when Caiden was 8 months old and she began to adjust to her new life.

‘Now I realise I wasn’t a bad mum at all,’ she tells Sunday magazine, ‘I was learning the ropes.’

Katie Evans