Vicky Pattison has taken to Instagram to celebrate how far she’s come in a year - having overcome grief, the loss of her best friend and heartache.
The Geordie Shore star is back at the Jason Vale’s Juicy Oasis Retreat – where she regularly goes to reset – and has taken the opportunity to reflect on what she’s called a “transitional period in her life”.
Vicky, 32, shared two pictures of herself in swimwear – one from last year and a more recent one – and noted the difference in the two people in the reflection.
Although to an outsider Vicky looked “thin” and “toned” in the snaps from last year, she admits she was “broken” following the death of her best friend Paul Burns and her tumultuous split from ex-fiancé John Noble.
“This 1st body might look healthy, might look lean & toned- but it wasn’t the product of hours in the gym, yoga classes or healthy eating- it was the product of almost giving up. Of actually being too heartbroken & lost to eat.
“I just couldn’t bring myself to eat or care about anything. All I could focus on was all the negative. This girl didn’t sleep, & when she did she would wake up crying & shaking, I had anxiety, I was stressed. I was so petrified of my own phone ringing & there being more bad news I was scared to pick it up but at the same time needing it near me as some sort of emotional crutch or security blanket.
“I spent my week away posting a slew of half naked pictures in some sort of desperate & misguided act of defiance. As if by showing the world that I was thin & toned I was showing them I was somehow ok & strong. Underneath it all I wasn’t- I was drowning in the grief of a lost best friend, a lost relationship & the loss of the future I had planned for myself.”
Now, having moved on with new beau Ercan Ram, Vicky has branded herself a “different person”. And after years of her weight fluctuating, the star said she’s finally “happy” in her own skin.
“Fast forward a year and I am a different person. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve got a couple of extra lumps and bumps that I’d prefer weren’t there and I’ve definitely added to my cellulite collection but I AM HAPPY.”
Now, when Vicky looks in the mirror she sees a body made up of all her favourite moments.
“I see my amazing year filled with love, laughter & beautiful people. I see my late night nuggets in bed with a remarkable man, I see silly nights out with the girls I couldn’t live without. I see Pt sessions and charity bike rides, adventures with my mam – I see strength.”
Vicky’s inspirational post – aimed to remind those who are “struggling” with their own self-worth, comes just days after she was forced to deny rumours she’s engaged to Ercan.
She told Heat magazine, “Contrary to popular belief, I can actually have a good day without getting engaged at the end of it! So, no, I’m not engaged and I’m not pregnant.”
That’s us told!