Time hasn't been kind to Leonardo DiCaprio and these other male celebs

What the heck happened to Leonardo DiCaprio?

Who took the beautiful boy that made us sob as he let go of the wooden panel to save Kate Winslet‘s life and replaced him with this hairy, overweight, middle-aged man? Sorry, but if Leonardo was hanging overboard today, we’d be prising his fingers off the side to set him loose.

But Leo‘s not the only one who’s allowed gravity to let them down. 

Val Kilmer went from that guy you hope will sit in the empty seat next to you on an airplane to looking like a bloated estate agent*

Bruce Jenner *sigh* How can an Olympic gold medallist that hunky become so haggard? We have a theory. He selflessly gave all his good looks to his four famous children: Brandon, Brody, Kendall and Kylie.

Then there’s George Michael. His beauty used to have all the supermodels flocking around him, but at the London 2012 Olympics no one heard our collective prayer for the strange, sunglassed man to stop singing his new single (whatever it was called).

Vince Vaughn‘s his James Dean-y vibe is long gone and has left behind a grey, pallid shell. Can you imagine Jennifer Aniston with him now? 

And back in the day, Nicolas Cage, sure we would’ve totally hit that. And now one look at his creepy face makes us want to take a shower. Using really cheap, astringent body wash.

Remember Kevin Federline? He serves as a warning to all pop stars. NEVER let your back-up dancers sweet-talk you into and impregnate you. TWICE.

If The Backstreet Boys’ Nick Carter had Malibu-beauty in his youth, all he has now is Mali-BARF.

American Idol’s Clay Aiken boy-to-man’s been like watching someone throwing water onto a mogwai. Clay‘s currently running for US congress but we’re not sure his Marvel villain-vibe will help him win votes.

Fear not, male celebrities! There is hope!

Mickey Rourke started his career as a gorgeous man. A gorgeous, gorgeous man. But after one-too-many punches in the boxing ring, Mick was left looking like Quasimodo on a bad day. And now, thanks to advances in Hollywood plastic surgery, Mickey looks… like Quasimodo on a good day!

*Now magazine does not have a problem with estate agents, just bloated estate agents who once looked like Val Kilmer.

SEE PICTURES Leonardo DiCaprio on the New York set of The Wolf Of Wall Street

SEE PICTURES Leonardo DiCaprio signs autographs outside the Good Morning America studios

SEE PICTURES Leonardo DiCaprio looks smart in a suit and tie for the LA premiere of Inception

Louis Boroditsky