Yay! The weather is finally getting warmer AGAIN! Here’s how we’ll be beating the heat (kinda).
Scorchio one minute and raining the next – the weather here in Blighty over the summer months experiences more ups and downs than Kerry Katona. And while there’s nothing we love more than snuggling up over the winter and eating everything accompanied by mashed potato, there’s something about the British summer time that just can’t be beaten. Here’s what goes through our heads when temperatures soar…
1. YES! I can FINALLY wear that summer dress I bought in the Asos sale back in February. You know, when it was really cold.
2. I haven’t shaved my legs since 2014. No boy will ever come near me ever.
3. Oh god. My legs are so pale the sun will literally bounce off them. *applies 8 layers of fake tan*
4. GAH! I’ve got streaks! I look like Ross from Friends.
5. It’s OK – I’ve remembered that tip from JLo in The Wedding Planner; ‘A quarter cup of lemon juice, half a cup of salt and a loofah sponge. Scrub scrub scrub.’ PHEW.
6. GET ME TO THE PUB GARDEN! I must drink a pint of cider immediately.
7. Damn, I can’t go to the pub anyway, I’ve got to go to work. FML I hate my life.
8. Wow this train smells so bad. And now I’m sweating so much I’m stuck to the seat.
9. My right armpit is sweating more than the left and EVERYONE has noticed. I’m a freak.
10. Why didn’t I buy one of those mini fans? I wonder if they come in pink.
11. I wish I’d started exercising in January. Is there a way I can lose a stone before the weekend? Maybe if I go on that maple syrup diet Beyonce did?
12. I could murder a Magnum. That new one with two layers of peanut butter and chocolate ice cream mmmmm.
13. Who the hell invented hayfever??? They deserve the death sentence.
14. Suntan lotion actually costs the same as a bottle of wine. WHY MUST I BE FACED WITH SUCH TOUGH DECISIONS IN LIFE?
15. I’m eating nothing but BBQ food from this point on.
16. WTF? Tesco have sold out of burgers! And bread rolls! And ketchup! And disposable BBQs! It’s like people KNEW it was going to be sunny. They must be so smug, I’m going to have to eat pizza now.
17. It’s really cold when the sun goes in. Anyone else want a jumper?