As Davina McCall sparks debate by saying you must 'keep your husband satisfied in the bedroom department' writer Debbi Marco explains why she agrees
Davina McCall was slammed on Twitter yesterday when she gave an interview in which she said that she thinks it’s important to keep her husband satisfied in bed even when she feels tired.
The presenter, 47, said in The Telegraph: ‘You must keep your husband satisfied in the bedroom department, even if you’re absolutely exhausted. Otherwise he will go somewhere else.’
Twitter instantly exploded with users angrily saying she had put out a ‘horrifying message’ to women.
The mum-of-three, who has been married to Matthew Robertson for 15 years, later explained her quotes in her own blog, writing: ‘I do not submit to my husband, nor does he submit to me. My mum said, to keep your man happy, stay intimate.
‘Sometimes, especially when the kids were very young and I was super tired, this was the last thing on my mind… has he ever coerced or pressured me? NO!!! But have I ever started feeling tired and finished feeling very happy? Yes!!’
Here writer and mum-of-two Debbi Marco explains why she couldn’t agree more:
I have a confession: 90 per cent of the time I have sex with my husband, I really don’t want to.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband, I’m attracted to him and we have great sex – whenever we find a window of spare time and energy to actually do it. But, generally, I’d rather watch a box set or go to sleep than have sex.
And I very much doubt I’m alone as one of the population who are having ‘maintenance sex’ in order to keep their relationship from falling from the romantic into the mundane.
It’s no surprise that sex is the last thing on my mind. From the moment I open my eyes at around six o’clock with an alarm clock of ‘mumm-eee, I need a poo!’ to the evening battle of getting two young children bathed and into bed to a chorus of ‘I’m too tired to sleep’, I then tidy the house, cook dinner and finish off any lingering work.
By the time I’ve flopped on the sofa to watch a Netflix box set I don’t have the energy to even think about sex, let alone actually do it.
Which is when the idea of maintenance sex really comes into its own. Just like going to an exercise class, you have to make yourself do it to remember you really like having sex and most importantly it’s good for your relationship, otherwise you’re just a couple of housemates sharing childcare.
I know I’m not alone. Discussions over a glass of Prosecco or two, revealed that one of my friends makes sure she has sex with her husband at least once a month. ‘It’s not as though I don’t love him or enjoy having sex, it’s just I’m so tired. Also, I like sex in the morning and with two kids jumping into bed with us before we’ve woken up, it’s never going to happen. I feel guilty I don’t have sex with him more, but I just don’t ever seem to be in the mood.’
I read an article which suggested to improve your marriage you should make time for six six-second hugs throughout the day. My husband thought it was a great idea, because whenever he tried to hug me, I’d accuse him of ‘body-blocking’ me while I was trying to unload the dishwasher.
Now he simply announces six-second hug, before wrapping his arms around me. While I admit to finding the timings slightly annoying (I was just going to make a cup of tea) I allow myself to sink into my husband’s chest and breathe in his shower-fresh smell. It reminds me he is not an annoyance but my husband and best friend who I adore and am deeply attracted to.
The same is true when I fall into bed, deathly tired and unable to think of anything except sleep. When he rolls over and starts kissing my neck, sex is the last thing I feel like. But as soon as I tell myself to stop resisting and kiss him back, I find my groove and soon I’m wondering why we don’t do this more often.
Of course, I’m reminded why the next morning as the chaos of getting two kids fed, clothed and out the door nearly drives me insane.
It’s understandable how sex can sometimes slip so far down the schedule it often drops off the bottom. While I’m terrible at instigating sex, I make a point of never saying no to my husband, because, while I may not feel like it at the time, the chance to be intimate with the man I love is something that only makes me feel happier, it makes my marriage stronger. Even if does mean I’m completely knackered for work the next day.
What do YOU think? Do you agree with ‘maintenance sex’? Share your comments below