Who wouldn't choose to be a lady who Cumberlunches?!

‘Posh boy’ Benedict Cumberbatch recently invited Times columnist Caitlin Moran to Sunday lunch with his parents in Gloucestershire.

Not quite believing the Harrow-educated Mr Cumberbatch‘s insistence he was ‘just middle class, really’, Caitlin rolled up at a vast mansion with a vintage Rolls-Royce parked in front, armed with flowers and a bottle of wine, but couldn’t find the way in.

On heading towards a crofter’s cottage nearby to seek advice, she spotted Benedict standing in the doorway.

‘What were you doing at Kate Moss‘s house?’ he asked mildly. A disarming question surely worthy of the contemporary Sherlock sleuth that helped put him on the acting map.

Caitlin started with a strong gin. Me, I’m a lighter but probably longer drinker, so I would go for Prosecco and a few salmon canapés.

Followed by more Prosecco, depending…

Then they had Sunday roast. Sunday roast? I’m yours already, Benedict, provided we can accompany the meal with a good strong, er, Pinot Noir, for example.

Seconds? You betcha. Btw, Benedict loves parsnips. And I learn that he likes pudding. Pudding? Summer pudding? Spotted dick? I’d be happy to feed him whatever he fancied with custard, spoon after spoon. Two helpings.

Well, Benedict has a very fine frame to fill, quite frankly. But I think I’d personally leave him to the pudding and go for the cheese board. He could have both, of course.

Then, like Caitlin, I might ask him to do some acting! Or role play. Such energy! From his first role as Bottom in A Midsummer Night’s Dream to rubbing shoulders with stars such as Meryl Streep, Ted Danson and George Clooney in Hollywood.

This after becoming a household name for Sherlock, to name but one storming success (Parade’s End? Star Trek anyone?). And from Sherlock to Smaug, the dragon in The Hobbit, breathing more fire than a cosy post-prandial Cognac.

Hot and strong. And that’s just the coffee…

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