Being a 30-year-old Belieber, for better or for worse (mainly for worse)

My name is Lauren Franklin and I love Justin Bieber. There, I said it.

To be honest, most people are none the wiser. I don’t have a mushroom style haircut, wear purple high-tops and I’m not a 12-year-old girl.

The only obvious factors that give it away are a sticker on my phone, an interview I once did with the BBC and the tendency to rant about how brilliant Justin is when I’m drunk.

I know right, it’s crazy I’m still single.

So while everyone is enjoying hopping aboard the Bieber bating boat, I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you why Biebs is the perfect popstar.

*Takes breath and gets ready to ruin all credit forever*

Justin‘s arrogant. Why would you not want a pop star with an ego?

Then they’d just be a boring normal person, and as we know from some of the more real’ people who have been on The X Factor and The Voice, people who remind you of that nice teacher, or your mum’s friend Jean don’t sell records.

Justin‘s controversial. There’s nothing better to seal a pop star’s legacy than landing themselves on loads of trouble. Come on, just think about it.

He has the genuine rags to riches story. Everyone loves one of those. Maybe Cinderella turned into a total douche when she hit the big time, you just don’t know. You still love her story though.

Justin made a terrible haircut iconic. Come on that’s some power there, even One Direction‘s Liam Payne was sporting the Bieber barnet when we first laid eyes on him.

His songs are actually pretty cool. Just try and tell me you don’t like Baby or rapping about fondue to Boyfriend. (OK, you totally can and I’ll believe you, but at least give them a go.)

Justin‘s an awesome dancer. JUST YOUTUBE IT PEOPLE. JUST DO IT.

He doesn’t give a shit what you think. When you have millions of fans who don’t mind that you steal monkeys, graffiti stuff you shouldn’t, and turn up two hours late onstage, who cares if America wants you deported?

Oh yeah, and he rides a Segway.

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