The Great British Bake Off's Claire made all the classic rookie mistakes

Last night, The Great British Bake Off saw speech and language therapist Claire leave the competition first.

Poor Claire – lovely laugh, bad baker.

But this did not have to be the case. Any faithful viewer of The Great British Bake Off will know there are a few basic rules of survival:

1. Paul Hollywood and Mary Berry prefer subtle flavours.

No matter how much you love orange, rein it in. Paul and Mary‘s sensitive palates will detect the slightest unbalance.

2. Don’t overdo the decorations.

Even last year’s GBBO winner Frances Quinn got told off for going OTT with style over substance. Which means deciding to ice your cake like a spider’s web in the middle of summer is a horrible idea.

3. Practice makes perfect.

I am not going to pretend I am anywhere near star baker-worthy status, but if I was a contestant on The Great British Bake Off all I’d be doing with my life between shows is practising my intended bakes. If Claire had noticed any trouble with her chocolate cake recipe during the week, she should’ve chosen another one.

Claire said: ‘I just want to really enjoy today. I don’t want this cloud of, “Oh God, I might go home,” hanging over me.’

Erm, can I just remind Claire that The Great British Bake Off is a brutal competition.

There are plenty of other days to ‘enjoy’.

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