TTYN Maria Fowler! Jordan’s claws are out over Leandro Penna and I can't get enough of it

I never thought I would say this. But… Here goes…I LOVE Jordan.

There’s nothing better to brighten up a bleak Friday afternoon than a good Twitter row.

And no one does an online spat better than the queen of barbed comment, Katie Price.

Today’s victim Maria Fowler tried to give as good as she got. But let’s face it, Katie can wipe the floor with a two-bit reality star any day.

The row started with Katie blasting Maria for setting up paparazzi pictures of her having dinner with Leandro Penna.

But the best was when she signed off – with a wonderful homage to Paris Hilton‘s catchphrase – Nothing more to say so bind your beak ..TTYN‘.

TTYN for those not in the know, btw, stands for Talk To You Never.

In four little letters she stuck two fingers up to Maria Fowler, showed she’s still down with the kids’ and hand delivered the papers a good headline. Now, what’s not to love about that?

For me, there’s nothing worse than a bland celeb harping on about creative processes’ or their latest worthy cause.

No, I like my celebs to be bold, brash and downright unpredictable – and no one does that like KP.
Let’s just take a look at her recent greatest hits.

Two weeks ago we had the video of her at London’s Trannyshack night, shouting: I’m bisexual. I f**k girls.’ (later branded a joke).

Before that we had the informative comment on Celebrity Juice last month: I think someone knows if they’ve done bum sex cos it hurts, don’t it’.

Then’s there’s my personal recent favourite, the discreet and tasteful comment on her love life with Alex Reid, just weeks after Chantelle Houghton had given birth to his daughter. Mmm, what was it again? Oh yes. I f***ed him up the arse with a vodka bottle’.

Fabulous. My only complaint is that she didn’t provide quite enough detail to really put a disturbed image in my mind – there’s a definite difference in the width of say, a tall and thin Grey Goose bottle and a smaller thicker bottle of Absolut.

My other favourite Jordan gem might have been just a rumour.

As it goes, she once refused to have a picture with a journalist, not you might think because that journalist had written something nasty about her, but because as she allegedly said: She’s too ugly’. If that’s not true, apologies KP. But it’s a Jordan classic if it is.

All that’s left to say is run, Maria Fowler, run.

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