I feel hurt, Broadchurch. Let down. It's like you are leading me down a merry path of unbelievable plot lines and absurdity, writes Lydia Anne Thompson
I loved you so, why are you doing this to me? Stop changing everything I thought was all neatly fixed. When I found out you were back on I immediately Series Linked you…just in case I missed one #obvs.
Then I tucked myself up on the sofa, 9pm sharp, ready to be utterly shaken up by your excitingly twisted storylines.
But one thing you have made feel me is pretty darn angry. I spent so much of last season waiting for the answer to be unveiled and now it seems like you’re going back on everything you said to me.
I feel hurt Broadchurch, let down, like you are leading me down a merry path of unbelievable plot lines and absurdity.
Firstly who is this new woman who’s got a murderously fit husband. He IS fit right? Surely I’m not the only one who thinks it.
And what is this other plot line all about? I mean, how weird was that sex scene with Olivia Coleman aka DS Ellie Miller? ‘Tell me you love me!’? Yeah, that was uneasy watching at it’s very worst. I’m just glad my parents weren’t in the room. Jeez!
And the inaccuracies! Like any woman would give birth and be able to rock up at court the next day. I mean purrrlease! I’ve found myself mocking the show like one of the stars of Gogglebox. I’ve been heckling the TV and when I’m not shouting: ‘What the…?!’ I’m losing interest and turning to my phone for distractions.
Maybe if you had kept my attention I’d be able to tell you more about the story and my theory on what’s going on. Why you’re upsetting me so much. But honestly I have no idea because I’m so, well, BORED-church.
It feels like the producers just coughed up a new series because the last one was so popular and now they’ve got themselves in a pickle, aimlessly trying to make sense of a plot that could never function in the real world.
But, saying all of this, I really hope I’m wrong. I hope what we have in store for us is something of genius and we’ll all be sighing ‘Oh!!!’ when you finally – FINALLY – decide to get good again.
So, I’m giving you one last chance. If tonight’s episode doesn’t offer up some clarity on some kind of feasible plotline, though, I’m off! You have been warned.
Lydia Anne Thompson