Ooh, what a surprise - Helen's going naked for Christmas. What a treat for all mankind

Oh, Helen Flanagan. You never fail me. Such a reliable girl! What’s she gone and done now, you say?

Ah, a totally naked FHM cover for Christmas.

Jingle bells all the way, or something. Well, at least your boyfriend’s Christmas stocking is sorted already – and it’s not yet December – so look at it that way. Maybe Helen‘s actually helping the nation, here?

After all, it wouldn’t be Christmas, or, er, any other day of the year to be quite honest, without Helen flashing her boobs about a bit.

Now, a New Year‘s resolution for you, Helen, my dear – maybe put a few more clothes on (it’s chilly outside, you know), and do something else. Just for a bit.

Boobs are for life – not just for Christmas. They’ll still be attached to your body come spring. No, they will. Believe me.

So maybe retiring them for a while will give all of our retinas a rest – and that would be a pretty blessed gift.

In the meantime, do something else, Helen. Return to acting. Write some poetry. Hell, watch a box set (without photographing your boobies doing so).

I like Instagram a lot, but lady, you are taking over my entire feed and brain with your jugs and I just don’t want to see them for a while. For the love of God!

Thanks.

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