An emoji movie might be on the way, but Now’s Thea de Gallier is fed up of the emoji takeover


We’ve been cramming our thoughts into 140 characters for a long time now, but with emojis, we can use even less. Why would I waste time typing ‘Yes to the pub tonight’ when I could send tiny pictures of a pint of beer and a thumbs-up instead?

When it comes to texting, emojis are brill. They’re cute, funny, and can lower the tone in an instant if that’s what you’re into (yes, I’m looking at you, aubergine). But, like Minions, they’re inescapable. No-one needs to see emojis when they’re not texting, but they’re creeping into everyday life, entering the dictionary and sliding into mainstream culture like an over-keen Tinder match into your DMs. Yesterday, it was announced that Sony might start working on an animated emoji movie, but that’s not the only way emojis are taking over our lives…


1. Hashflags


You know, when your hashtag turns into a little picture on Twitter. It was kind of fun during the World Cup, and made sense when the Election was on, but did Taylor Swift’s Bad Blood video really need its own Twitter-powered emoji? I think not.


2. Using emojis wrong


Apparently, picking an emoji that suits the conversation isn’t good enough. Nope, according to various articles, we’re doing it wrong. The blushing face is creepy, the sassy hand-woman is really being helpful, and the shocked cat is actually tired. Yes, someone sat down and worked these things out.


3. This woman’s huge emoji phone bill

Paula Cochrane is a Scottish woman who, earlier this year, ran up a £1,200 phone bill by using emojis. Her contract, which was only meant to cost £30.99 per month, had been charging her for picture messages every time she used an emoji. This would not have happened if emojis weren’t a thing.


4. This anti-drug campaign, written entirely in emojis


The Partnership for Drug-Free Kids in America has created some ads telling kids not to do drugs. They’re written entirely in emoji. Who writes entire messages in emoji? Nobody, that’s who.


5. This giant emoji in a field


An actual, real-life emoji appeared recently in a field near Chippenham, flattened into the crops. It is huge. It is unnecessary. It is not made by aliens. It must be stopped.

Thea de Gallier

Cheryl Fernandez-Versini must be very happy! The more emojis you use, the better your sex life, apparently