Bad hair and bad outfits! Now's Jess Spiring is worried that her 90s icons are on the way out...
Is it just me or did the pictures at the weekend of Brad Pitt at Guy Ritchie’s wedding just make you die a little bit inside? With his yellow tinged glasses, flopped over hair, beige suit and, dare I say, spittley mouth, I felt none of the usual stirrings. Nothing. I was dead from the waist down.
And this is the man who, at the height of his Fight Club, River Runs Through It or Seven fame could ignite the loins of pretty much any woman I knew. He was female Viagra. It was no wonder Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie went head to head for a piece of the Pitt.
I thought, like Robert Redford (who Brad has a striking resemblance to), he would hold on to his hotness well into his twilight years. But also, no.
It’s not that I’m ageist. Redford, at 78? I probably would, TBH. Fifty-something Johnny Depp keeps getting fitter. Even Matthew McConaughey, who in his How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days and Failure to Launch years I could take or leave, has earned a place in my top five thanks to his role as a brooding tortured policeman in True Detective.
Brad isn’t the only one going off the boil.
41-year-old Kate Moss, who women of my generation have idolized since our 20s is losing it too in my humble opinion.
Where once she was untouchably cool with both haute and high street brands falling over themselves to cash in on her cachet (remember the near stampedes at Topshop as we all tried to snap up some of her style?), the shine is beginning to come off.
It’s not that she’s ageing badly – she just hasn’t changed her style for 25 years. In recent pictures taken outside her house in north London, there she was in the same black skinny jeans, tatty biker boots and star-print shirt. At the airport in April, it was the same ensemble.
C’mon, Mossy. We look to you for style inspiration. What should we be wearing next? Shouldn’t our skinny jeans be mothballed in favour of culottes and jumpsuits? And, erm, in case you hadn’t noticed, it’s summer. Surely there’s a wafty maxi in your wardrobe somewhere that you could fire up the fashpack with and have us all scrambling for lookalikes?
I’m too old to be looking to Taylor Swift for style inspo, and me letching over Nick Jonas, say, is just creepy. At 25 and 22, they could be my children.
But even sadder than losing my #1 male and female crushes, is the fact that if these two can’t cling onto their fabulousness over forty, what hope is there for the rest of us?