Tom Daley is the worst boyfriend choice that Dustin Lance Black could ever make


First of all, let’s make one thing clear – if I was Tom Daley, or 19-years-old, I would definitely date Dustin Lance Black.

Who wouldn’t? Dustin Lance Black‘s handsome, rich and an Academy Award winner. I could even overlook Dustin‘s sex pics that were leaked in 2009. They are part of the reason Dustin Lance Black‘s on my radar anyway. Which reminds me, I still haven’t seen Milk. #sorrynotsorry

I’m also glad Tom Daley met Dustin Lance Black when he did. Too often, young LGBTQs have to learn to navigate through gay community by themselves – Dustin seems like a perfect gentleman who could show Tom ‘the ropes,’ if you will. *clears throat* 

From Dustin Lance Black‘s perspective, I also get the attraction to Tom Daley. He’s fit, wears Speedos and could save you if you needed help swimming from one end of the pool to the other (which could conveniently happen often).

And that’s my point. Eventually, Tom will LEAVE you, Dustin! Surely, an almost-40-year-old gay man would know this. All gay men were Tom Daley, once.

Tom is twenty years younger than Dustin and at the very beginning of a hopefully illustrious adventure as a gay – erm, I mean bisexual – man.

I’m not saying Tom is incapable of being faithful. I’m just saying that one day, when Tom just wants to go out and see Selena Gomez (‘Really?’ says Dustin) perform her latest mind-numbing hit at G.A.Y. and all you want to do is curl up on the couch and watch All About Eve (‘What’s that?’ asks Tom), the end of their relationship will be near.

Tom‘s even recently admitted that men fling themselves at him despite being unavailable. ‘It does happen quite often,’ admits Tom, ‘And I’m like, “What do you mean?”‘

Oh, Tom – you’re so silly.

And while Tom will have the boys queueing up to take Dustin‘s place, all Dustin will be left with is expensive eye cream, leaked internet sex pics and a puppy (Tom was always too lazy to take Princess for a walk).

I don’t care how open and understanding you guys are to each other’s different lives. It won’t work and from Dustin‘s side, I just don’t understand the point (other than the obvious). Why set yourself up for heartache?

Mind the age gap, darling.

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