Post-clubbing life summed up in gifs
Ah, clubbing. Who could forget that sweet time in your life? Whole days spent getting ready – plucking, shaving, applying, stressing – with the girls and downing bottles of Lambrini before piling into a taxi.
Then it was four hours in a club that reeked of BO, with sticky floors and even stickier men, drinking watered down, overpriced drinks and all while trying to dance without looking like you’re having a seizure. Memories…
SO WHY DO WE KEEP DOING IT TO OURSELVES? Sure, it’s not as regular these days but here’s how you know you’re totally over clubbing.
1. You make this face after being told: ‘We’re meeting there at 10.30pm’
Are they kidding? These days it’s rare if you’re not tucked up in bed before EastEnders finishes.
2. Applying make-up AFTER work seems ludicrous
Why can’t we go to a facemask and PJs party? You know, like, in bed…
3. Pre-drinks just isn’t as fun as it used to be
While everyone else is dancing and having deep conversations (‘You’re my best friend, I promise’), you’re in the corner getting through it the only way you know how: drinking all of the alcohol.
4. Getting felt up by the bouncers feels intrusive
It’s always been intrusive, but before you were only thinking of getting inside and ordering 10 shots of tequila. These days you don’t have time for any wandering hands.
5. You know those people who push you in the queue for the bar?
Yeah, those d*cks. Stick to the system, okay? We’re all here for the same thing.
6. Dancing doesn’t come as ‘naturally’ as it used to
Those weird, cult-like routines everyone seems to be doing and trying to maintain some dignity as you attempt to join in.
7. Toilet sisters are a thing of the past
If you were having a crappy night at least there was the guarantee of making a new bestie in the loos. Not anymore. You’re more likely to get looked up and down before they collapse into giggles at your expense.
8. Back on the dance floor and you couldn’t think of anything worse than being chatted up
You can’t hear them over the music, their hands are all over you and you can’t remember how to get out giving someone you’re number.
9. Suddenly life is good again when one of your friends suggests leaving to get chicken nuggets
You don’t need to be asked twice…
10.You promise yourself that’s the LAST time you’ll be doing that
But, of course, it never is.