Josie is crowned the winner of Big Brother, it couldn't happen to a nicer girl...

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And now the end is near… sort of. But before we get all over excited and giddy about Ultimate Big Brother, it’s time to shed a tear and enjoy a good montage as the last ever Big Brother [on Channel 4] draws to an end. Sob!

So here we go, in fifth place we have… Andrew! Wrong, wrong, wrong. I LOVE Andrew. He is funny, clever and cute. Great exit interview. Very charming, very lovely if he lays off the watermelons he will make someone a lovely boyfriend.

In fourth place we have… JJ. Good. Nice enough bloke, easy on the eye, but not really a finalist now was he? All the Corin stuff was a bit uncomfortable, but his best bits did make me appreciate him a bit more.

In third place and picking up the bronze medal is… Mario! Oh Mario, he had his highs and he had his lows but more importantly he also had a massive left testicle that I saw more times than was necessary. He definitely earned his housemate status, but why he went on about his leaving jacket amaze me. I thought it was a bit rubbish.

So it’s the final two. Dave vs Josie. And going home with the silver medal is Dave! Now I’ll give him the fact that he had his funny moments and wasn’t a bad guy. But the creationist who believes in werewolves comes second. Oh no. He denies science, damn it! Oh well what does it matter because…

JOSIE IS THE WINNNER!!! I truly couldn’t be happier. I love that Bristolian and wish her all the best. May she find happiness and have babies with John James. Please I want one Big Brother romance to work which isn’t Grace and Mikey. I don’t ask much.

It’s been a vintage Big Brother with a fitting send off. For the first time in ages I’ve liked, or at least appreciated, almost all of the housemates. The tasks have been brilliant [particularly the ignore the obvious which has to be the best task ever] and Big Brother has been inspired. Tree Of Temptation I salute you.

Anyway, no time to celebrate, she’s back in the house. Now lets see who’s joining her…