If somebody hasn’t stripped naked by this time next week on Big Brother I’ll eat my hat…

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After being an ardent Big Brother fan the entire time it was on Channel 4, I lost the faith last year. Five’s version just felt like a poor relation to me.

However, after getting pestered by other BB fans, that no, honestly they were all still mad and worth watching, I decided to give the new series one more chance.

At least it seems this year they’ve gone back to the old formula of having a mix of people of varying ages and backgrounds.

However, the ‘model’ quota this year is dangerously high and, let’s be honest now, not all of them look like this is a job that would actually allow them to pay the rent.

So let’s get this straight we have a former porn star, a former LA gang member, a former Playboy bunny, six models (male and female), an Essex girl, a posh girl, a boy who was a girl, and a ‘nightclub promoter’ (which in my experience just means you go out clubbing a lot and once helped your mate out by flyering).

There’s also a doorman with the voice of Joe Pasquale, a dancer who dates a pop star [well Andy Scott Lee, so almost a pop star] and a pretend posh boy.

There’s also one of three wildcard contenders who will be entering the house, which includes a male goth model who plays the flute, a ‘larger than life’ drama student and a gay hospital receptionist who likes dressing up as Amy Winehouse. Hmm.

I would say so far that about two thirds of them are already rather hateful. My top five hit list at the moment though include nightclub promoter Luke S bragging about sleeping with married women and history student Scott posing for the cameras for all he was worth.

Then there’s Shievonne who refuses to drink water because, and I quote, she ‘doesn’t like the taste’, Scottish model Sara (although this is based solely on the fact she loves Margaret Thatcher) and most irritating of all (so far), lazy posh girl Caroline with hair so wild it should be sectioned.

All in all a potentially explosive Big Brother batch, which means I will keep watching. Now if BB could just get rid of Brian Dowling and his overly made-up face they might just win me over for good…

DISCLAIMER: All Big Brother opinions are liable to change at the drop of a hat and often not even for a very good reason.