Lady Sovereign hangs on to her place in the house as Katia and Heidi get the boot...

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I’m disappointed. Lady Sovereign has survived while Katia and Heidi have felt the wrath of the viewing public. Sod Katia, I wanted Heidi to stay longer.

The former madam may have slept for most of her time in the Big Brother house, but when she did manage to wrench her head from her pillow she was a really good housemate. Harsh? Yes, but, that’s not always a bad thing.

If only they’d mainlined her full of coffee, she might have survived. While Katia had conversations about what life would be like if you woke up and someone had swapped your hands with your feet, Heidi regaled us with tales of nearly getting beaten up in prison about a row over home made dildos. Now that, my friends, is entertainment.

Her exit interview was interesting too – a feat neither Sov or Katia will manage. Katia is just one of those girls who has to have a boy fancying her to make her even exist. There’s nothing to her otherwise. Yes, she is really pretty, but there’s nothing behind the eyes.

She went back to Basshunter when she realised it was her only chance of survival. Sadly for her no one cares. I don’t normally get all moral, but she did also steal someone’s husband. That’s her claim to fame. Nice. Now go away please. Thanks.

The house would not be a worse place without Sov either. I really wanted to like her when she went in, but all she’s done since is act like a petulant, sulky, lazy child. According to Sov people never give her a chance. It’s never her fault. Grow up.

Dane continues to grow on me more and more. He seems like a genuinely nice bloke, isn’t a complete walkover and is actually quite clever. Obviously, please remember, this is only in comparison to his fellow housemates. I’m also warming to Nicola T. I know it’s wrong. I’m ashamed of myself, but she seems quite nice.

I still love Dame Stephanie, even if she is getting bitchier. Vinnie is good value too. I particularly like the way he tried to pretend he know nothing about any of the hosuemates when he arrived and he clearly had gone straight on Google before he got in there to look them all up.

Down the other end of the scale, Stephen needs to stop telling stories about children getting killed. I do however love that apparently he’s in the diary room all the time trying to get airtime and BB never shows it. As Nelson in the Simpson’s would say: Ha Ha!

Meanwhile, Jonas needs to stop talking about sex and bodily functions and Sisqo needs to do something. Anything.

Alex Reid is still a dick. I know people in the house are warming to him and I am aware he is completely harmless. Then again so are spiders in the UK, but that doesn’t mean I want one in the same room as me. I did quite enjoy the talking to the other housemates gave him about his career and personality yesterday. The problem is, I think the words of wisdom bounced off his thick skull.

Forget the persecution complex, the idiocy, the vanity and his general delusions and focus for a minute on the fact that he things he’s an actor. I just saw the clip of his ‘film’ on BBBM and it makes You’ve Been Framed look like Apocalypse Now. The website for Killer Bitch is kind of inspired though. Now that is manipulation of the press!

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