Alex Reid goes fake tan crazy...

Oh Alex, will you never learn that turning yourself the same colour as David Dickinson is not a good look. However, the fake tan fest that Alex Reid indulged in, could possibly be one of the funniest Big Brother moments ever.

The sight of a naked Alex having fake tan rubbed into him by Basshunter and Nicola T is one of the most surreal, slightly unnerving and hysterical sights I have ever seen.

The rest of the housemates joined in the fun by laughing at Alex’s white buttocks, before commenting that it looked like he had crapped himself.

However, encouraging him to put more fake tan on his face was both cruel and inspired. Like an eager labrador puppy, simple Alex agreed to let Basshunter turn him a shade of orange even an oompa loompa would be ashamed of. Brilliant.

We need to have words though, voting public. Bookies have now, to my horror, made Alex the favourite. OK so the one upside of him winning is that it may piss off Jordan. However, let us not detract from the fact he is a fame-hungry wannabe and should not be given this kind of encouragement. It will only end in tears.

I am not, however, suggesting you vote for Vinnie Jones to win, or even Dane Bowers. May I direct you towards the fragrant Stephanie Beacham for your vote. Can she do it? I bloody hope she can.

Elsewhere in the house, BB was even more evil than the housemates by handing Ivana a fake award then shattering not only Ivana Trump’s dreams but the award itself. I thought Stephanie might even wet herself with laughter after she ‘accidentally’ broke her trophy. However, with acting skills Alex Reid could only dream of she turned her hysterics into tears of sadness. A true pro!

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