Albert Square and pop do not go together. Got that, Whitney Dean?

Soap stars turned pop stars. Ho ho ho!

There are those that did it – and did it well. That’s your Kylie Minogue, your Delta Goodrem, and your Holly Valance (well, the last two for a bit, anyway).

Note: these girls are all tanned. And glam. And also… Australian.

You see, it’s a tall order for a UK soap star to make it big in pop once they’ve been all over our screens for years.

We feel like we know – and own – the residents of Albert Square and Coronation Street.

And quite frankly, who wants to listen to a pasty mechanic/babysitter/barmaid warbling badly, when they could be having a punch-up in the Vic? Punch-ups are far more entertaining than crappy love songs. Obviously.

Though there’s nothing more I love than a trawl through YouTube of those who’ve thrown in the acting towel and attempted to go all reggae, house or soul on us.

I did it at the weekend.

Yes, I admit it. I watched Sid Owen, AKA Rickaaaaay from EastEnders, dancing badly on a beach (and appearing to have taken a lot of inspiration from Peter Andre‘s Mysterious Girl video), in 2000’s, um, smasher, Good Thing Going.

Oh, Sid. He reached No 14. Then he returned to EastEnders, quick sharp.

Stick to your strengths, kids. That’s probably the only piece of advice I am qualified to give.

So, obviously, it pains me today to find out that Shona McGarty, who plays Whitney Dean in EastEnders, is recording music.

No. No. No!

‘I’m always writing and singing my own songs so I am going into the studio to record some of them,’ Shona‘s told The Sun.

Oh dear. Shona. Seriously. Think this through. You’re probably not going to be the new Kylie. Think of your job in EastEnders! We like you with a scraped back ponytail, dishing out chicken nuggets to Tiff ‘n’ Morgan and having scraps with Carol.

Shona, I plead with you. Before you leave EastEnders for your ‘Rickaaaay on the beach’ moment, think of Sid. He’s your stepdad on EastEnders – didn’t he learn ya?

Think also of Martine McCutcheon.

And lastly, think of Adam Rickitt.

Now, make the right decision.

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