Last night's special Christmas episode was brilliant - Mark needs to come back properly
It was just like the golden days of TOWIE – Mark teased Arg about his weight, advised him on chat-up lines, and decided to organise one of his ‘best parties ever’.
Mark was ALWAYS organising ‘the best party ever’, back in ye goode olde days of TOWIE.
Not that the parties ever looked that great – some dingy club, Arg crooning away and Nanny Pat looking confused in the corner.
‘Desperate times call for desperate measures,’ she said. (She was referring to Arg. He’s permanently upset over Lydia and his weight gain.)
And Mark turned up, like a modern-day gallant knight (just in a flashy car, not on a horse). And it was amazing.
You can always rely on Mark to be ridiculously blunt with, well, everyone. And because he’s so Ken-doll good looking, he gets away with it.
‘You’re looking a little bit on the rough side,’ Mark told Arg.
But it was OK, because Mark is the only one that Arg listens to (and Arg really needs to sort it out).
‘We’re going to throw the best party evaaaaaaaaar,’ promised Mark, to cheer Arg up, and Arg looked genuinely happy, bless him.
After having the best party evaaaaaaaar for Arg (which looked like every other TOWIE party, to be quite honest), Mark and Arg sealed the Marg bromance good and proper.
Yes, Arg collaped into tears because he was so happy Mark was back – but so upset he wasn’t staying.
‘I don’t want you to go again!’ He blubbed. ‘It reminds me of the old times… you and me riding horses. And when you pushed me in the lake!’
What is this, guys – Brokeback Mountain?!
Mark, Arg NEEDS YOU. Come back! The show is nothing without you!
Elsewhere, Lucy and Mario got trapped on the London Eye whilst arguing.
What a bad place for a row.
Mario called Lucy a ‘prick’ (ouch), but I was gawping more at the horrendous editing of their argument.
One minute the pair were at the bottom of the London Eye, then back at the top, then back round the side, then back at the top.
And Lucy’s coat kept mysteriously alternating between appearing on her shoulders – then off – then back on. Fishy.
Sort it out, editors. We know things are scripted, but if the argument wasn’t going to plan, you should have kept Mario and Lucy on solid ground, and with the same clothes on, so we couldn’t tell you’d edited it.
Your viewers aren’t that silly.
And the prize for stupidest line of the night belongs to Kirk Norcross.
‘Dad… you’re my father!’ He said to Mick. Yes. And I haven’t even taken that out of context.
Essex was back to its very best last night – and 99 per cent because of Mark Wright.
Please producers – can you not bring him back for good?