Lost fields its B-team in an episode where plot holes were plugged in a time-honoured manner, says guest blogger Gillian Crawley
In last week’s review of Lost I revealed how a love of 70s cop shows shaped my critical faculties.
This week I’m moving on to the Charlie’s Angels Gambit. That’s the device by which scriptwriters plug chasms in the plot by getting characters to explain them to each other.
Thus in Charlie’s Angels, the ‘70s TV show, not the two films with Drew Barrymore which I scorned on principle, the entire plot was wrapped up in the last five minutes with the disembodied voice of Charlie explaining everything over an intercom to Farrah Fawcett as if she was remedial and he was worried it was catching.
FYI: I wanted to be Farrah Fawcett – blonde, tanned, big teeth. Instead I was the geeky one with the flat chest.
Lost featured an impressive four Charlie’s Angels moments in an episode without its biggest stars – Jack (Matthew Fox), Kate (Evangeline Lilly), Sayid (Naveen Andrews) and Hurley (Jorge Garcia).
No. 1: When Des (Henry Ian Cusick) went to Oxford to track down Dan’s (Jeremy Davies) mum he bumped into a bloke who sounded like an extra from a Guy Ritchie film. Mockney Geezer explained that Dan had been experimenting on sending rats back in time; like they didn’t have enough during the Great Plague.
No. 2: Back on the island Richard (Nestor Carbonell) believed Dan, Charlotte (Rebecca Mader), Sawyer, Miles (Ken Leung) and Juliet (Elizabeth Mitchell) to be from the US military and revealed the presence of an unstable hydrogen bomb by casually asking them if they wanted it back.
By the way, is anybody else bothered by Richard’s very obviously dyed eyelashes?
No. 3: Des discovered that Dan’s unfortunate ex-girlfriend Teresa had been reduced to the IQ of a whelk when Dan’s experiments went wrong.
Evil tycoon Charles Widmore (Neighbours’ Alan Dale, who continues to hog all US TV shows) was paying for her care. ‘Gawd bless ‘im,’ cried Teresa’s sister Abigail who was clearly channelling the spirit of Tiny Tim.
No. 4: We learn that it’s 1954 on the island and Locke (Terry O’Quinn) is yet to be born. Oh, and in 1954 Charles Widmore was an obnoxious youth under Richard’s command and Locke would saved everyone a lot of grief by shooting him in the back when he had the chance.
I’m going to gallop though the rest here because, what the hell? It’s good enough for the writers.
Dan meets an aggressive girl called Ellie who might be Teresa and speaks as though her jaw is wired shut.
Richard’s 1954 army speak Latin which may be a nod to the dumbing-down of the American education system as Sawyer can’t understand what they’re saying.
Sawyer continues to behave like a big lug but is thankfully still wearing that shirt he found in the first episode.
He got the best line of the episode: ‘Want to stay here in Crazytown or help me rescue the geek?
Second prize went to the Widmore of Christmas Past who said of Locke: ‘Their leader is some sodding old man. Do you think he could track me?
At the end Charlotte, to whom Dan had just confessed undying love, collapsed with a nosebleed that could signal a brain tumour or just as easily an alien parasite.
I’m beginning to realise that being Dan’s girlfriend isn’t a smart move.
Anyway, though I’ve scorned the technique, I admire the scriptwriters’ commitment to tying up the loose ends instead of just leaving us dangling.
Mind you I feel Lost fans who’ve hung in there for five seasons might have lynched them.
Lost Sky1 and Sky1 HD Sundays