Sir Alan has Kimberly for breakfast on The Apprentice
He boasts he’s just ‘a bloke from Durham with a big head’ but The Apprentice’s human bulldozer Philip Taylor is much more than that.
He’s a tantrum-throwing, face-puller who, in the words of the sound engineer forced to listen to his singing: ‘thinks he’s Bono’ too.
Estate agent Philip, 29, was also responsible for an idea that Sir Alan Sugar described as ‘absolute garbage’ but incredibly survived to pout another day.
Instead American marketing consultant Kimberly Davis, 33, who led Team Ignite to utter defeat, was the latest contestant to walk the plank.
Kimberly richly deserved it though, for failing to control Philip and bickering sniper Lorraine Tighe, 36, as well as for being a drama queen.
‘I championed you every step of the way,’ she wailed at traitor Lorraine while flinging her arms in the air.
‘I’m not a creative myself,’ she pleaded with a stony-faced Sir Alan. ‘I manage creativity.’
So what kind of creative talents were she and Empire team leader Kate Walsh, 27, nurturing?
Their task was to produce a healthy breakfast cereal aimed at children and sell it with a cheery cartoon character.
Empire’s Ben Clarke, 22, previously a fake-tanned backstabber, had undergone a personality transplant.
He came up with a jolly pirate parrot called Captain Squawk and the cereal Treasure Flakes.
He even sportingly wore the stiflingly hot parrot suit and restrained himself from running Kane, the hateful child actor cast alongside him in the ad, through with his cutlass.
Ignite’s Noorul Choudary, 33, keeping up his role as the show’s invisible man, ingeniously hid this week by volunteering to dress up as Philip’s brainchild – the superhero Pantsman.
Sir Alan observed that young people today use the expression ‘pants’ to describe something that’s, well, pants.
But Philip was convinced of the brilliance of his idea and shouted down every other suggestion.
He clearly still considered himself touched by greatness even when called back to the boardroom by Kimberly who also nominated Lorraine.
The final scene where Kimberly submitted to a Judas kiss from Lorraine was a picture.
But Lorraine made so many enemies this week that she’ll have to watch her back from now on.