So now cheater Charlie is accusing Ferne of cheating on TOWIE? Wevs!

Like good ol’ Jeremy Kyle might say, accusations of cheating often come from the party that’s actually been doing the cheating (or, something a bit more like, Keep it in your pants, mate’).

TOWIE is back on our screens – but this time apparently, according to Charlie Sims, Ferne McCann has been cheating on him.

I don’t believe it for a second, to be honest. Charlie cheated on Ferne openly (there are pictures to prove it) whilst off screen, on holiday.

She forgave him, but they split inbetween series – and now poor, poor ickle Charlie has heard some rumour or other that Ferne cheated him whilst they were briefly back together.

Oh, whatever.

His precise words were that she was f*cked’ by someone called Frank Major (we have no idea who this mysterious Frank is the the moment, but he sounds like someone out of Dad’s Army. Not that I’m saying Ferne would ever date anyone off, er, Dad’s Army.)

Ferne admitted she’d been on a Valentine’s Day date with this unidentified Frank but denies cheating on Charlie.

Cue lots of tears.

Oh, go somewhere else Charlie, preferably to Cheater Island where I reckon all cheating exes should be sent. (Ooh, I think I just had a Dragon’s Den moment there…)

Meanwhile on Twitter, a war of words has ensued between Charlie and Ferne. Eek!

The boy cheated on me when we was in a happy relationship and I found out via the dailymail. I had every right to make a song&dance‘, says Ferne.

Charlie‘s Tweeted, Just to set the record straight I didn’t cheat 20 times I cheated once. I slept with 20 women after we split. I’m not proud but that a fact‘.

Oooooook. Deep breaths.

This looks likely to rumble on, but I reckon I’m on lovely, sparky, Ferne‘s side. Whilst Charlie is, in my opinion, a bitter ex looking to sling mud at her.

Just sayin’.

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