I thought you were supposed to get a new 'do AFTER you have a relationship crisis?

So TOWIE‘s gone a bit rubbish recently (see earlier blog post here).

Diags and Chloe visit the zoo? Boring. Charlie and Bobby have yet another I can’t take not being friends anymore, mate’ love-fest? Gimme a break.

But NEWSFLASH, guys! Mario‘s done his hair all new. Doesn’t he look pretty? His hair’s so sweeping. So shiny. So damn sultry. No, seriously, I’d kill for a fringe that glossy. I’m really not being sarky.

After his now ex-fiancée Lucy dyed her lush locks blonde last week (the jury’s out on that decision), Mario stole her thunder with a brand spanking new look.

Maybe he felt left out because the most talked about hair on the show is no longer his immense quiff-thing.

Or maybe he just couldn’t be bothered to do whatever he does to make it go up in the air like that (don’t ask me. Ask Jedward).

Who knows? But I like the new hair, Mr Falcone.

But down, like his hair, came his relationship, too. Gradually. As the episode went on, and his arguments with Lucy intensified. It must have been a metaphor, right producers? 

So, Mario and Lucy are no longer engaged. He’s been messaging a Sugar Hut Honey, you see (Mick Norcross‘s rubbisher version of the Playboy Girls. Yeah).

And so there will be no Mario and Lucy wedding. 

I’m now reconsidering my decision to go to the hairdressers on Saturday. What if something horrendous happens with my love life as a result?

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